It seems people have been looking for the perfect diet since the first chunky caveman.
Nowadays every week seems to bring word of some new fad that a friend of a friend swears by or some regimen the hot celebrity du jour is rumored to be using to get into bikini shape.
Diet fiends have jumped on so many bandwagons and get-fit-fast diet plans that it's amazing they can even keep track of them all.
So far, nobody has found the perfect diet. They have, however, happily filled their bodies and minds with countless bad diets on their endless quest.
Some diets are disgusting, some are so counterintuitive that it's a wonder they even became fads and some just stink -- literally.
Maybe the perfect diet doesn't exist, but these five diet nightmares are a good place not to start ...
No. 5: The Atkins diet
Everyone has heard of the Atkins diet, and despite its popularity doctors and dieters have a laundry list of horror stories.
Any diet that lets you eat bacon all day sounds great, but does it really sound healthy?
The Atkins diet essentially turns the longstanding food pyramid on its head, favoring fatty meat and slashing carbs, something doctors fervently warn their patients not to do.
Atkins begins with dramatically changing how your body works by putting it in a state called ketosis; which has been linked to chronic dehydration, nausea, depression and bad breath. Such high-protein diets are also very dangerous for people with high blood pressure, heart disease and kidney ailments.
Doctors say eating a diet so high in protein can also cause gout and an increased risk of cancer.
While some dieters report great results, many Atkins dieters also gain all those lost pounds back soon after the bacon-and-beef party ends.
No. 4: Juice detox/fasting diets
The juice detox and juice fasting diets became all the rage among raw food fans and people looking to get the "toxins" of everyday life out of their body.
These diets come in many forms: fruit juices, juiced veggies and even cayenne pepper juice and molasses.
The idea behind the diets is that the body digests juice with little effort and wipes the slate clean, so to speak. Dieters use juice fasting beyond just losing weight, they also look to it to quit smoking, drinking caffeine or for an alternative to normal medical procedures.
Dieters have, however, reported many problems with the diet. Acne breakouts, extreme irritability, fatigue and the leaching of calcium and other nutrients crucial to a healthy body have all been reported by dieters who try juice fasting.
No. 3: The cabbage soup diet
The cabbage soup diet is one diet that literally stinks, first from the soup and later from the flatulence many dieters have reported.
The basis of the diet is eating huge quantities of cabbage soup -- hence the name. The low-calorie soup diet typically lasts for seven days. During that time, the cabbage soup is paired with sides such as several bananas, unsweetened fruit juice and beef.
Doctors have criticized the diet because it is very high in sodium in order to make the bland soup edible. They also say any weight lost is usually water weight; which means dieters gain the weight back soon after the diet ends.
Beyond the flatulence, dieters also say they often feel weak and light-headed during the diet and reported feeling nauseous at the smell of cabbage soup after a few days on the diet.
No. 2: The garlic and onion diet
The garlic and onion diet is likely the stinkiest diets most people will ever hear of.
The diet was devised by a Croatian man looking to shed a lot of weight. It worked for him, he lost some 160 pounds on the disgusting diet. The diet consists of garlic and onions on either a wheat biscuit or cracker with a side of carrot juice -- yum.
Combining the diet with exercise, the creator of the diet did manage to lose a lot of weight, but friends said his breath was "really rancid."
The rare dieters thinking about this diet should be sure to pick up a few gallons of mouthwash when they stock up on onions and garlic if they want to keep their friends and family close.
After all, what good is it to lose weight if nobody can stand being close enough you to notice?
No. 1: The My Pet Fat diet
The My Pet Fat diet isn't so much a diet as a ugly deterrent to eating altogether.
Inspired by the pet rock craze of the 1970s, the diet consists only of a chunk of synthetic fat designed to look like the leftovers from a liposuction.
The idea is to put the ugly blob on the kitchen counter or in the fridge. Simply spotting the ugly little blob supposedly gets dieters thinking about their own fat and skipping the next snack.
One wonders why dieters would spend money on something so gross when they could simply save money by not buying the sweets they're trying to avoid.
While there aren't any health concerns associated with My Pet Fat, but dieters might have to hide their new pet when company comes over.
In the case of this pet, there's a very thin line between healthy motivation and creeping out your house guests.
Distributed by Internet Broadcasting. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.