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Professor Wrestling: Hulked Out

POSTED: Friday, June 13, 2008
UPDATED: 8:42 am EDT June 13, 2008

Listen up!

Class is in session.

On this Father's Day weekend, I have to say a few words about Hulk Hogan, the proud papa of racin' Nick Bollea.

Nick, if you haven't been paying attention (and you're excused if you haven't), is in jail, serving a sentence for the aftermath of a car crash that seriously injured one of his best friends.

Nick, as the nation has witnessed on the reality show "Hogan Knows Best," may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer - but he's still relatively young (17) and will hopefully learn from his mistakes.

Can we say the same thing for his pop, the Hulkster? Let me tell you something, brother, it looks like Mr. Hogan is struggling in the fatherhood department. And I think I'm being pretty kind.

I know you can't control what your kids do, but where is Dad to say "No" once in a while? Or is this family so far above the rest of us that they can do what they want? It makes you think.

I also had to scratch my head when Hogan recently said it was "God's will" when Nick's friend got injured. Huh? Uh, Hulk, he'll need lifelong medical care. And your kid didn't help matters. Karma? Utter nonsense. Brother.

Also, if my son made a catastrophic mistake, would I go on CNN's "Larry King Live" to talk about it? Not on your life. What's the point? The only message Hogan is sending by answering softballs from Larry is "I want to stay in the spotlight, no matter what." Most dads would quietly let the kid serve his time, and then get on with life. Not Hogan, who made sure to tell the world that this whole Nick thing is "hard" to deal with. Hulk, I gotta say, you're killing me.

You chose to be in the public eye. You chose for your family to be dragged into the public eye. That means when they screw up, you have to back down, be humble and wish for a better day. Say you're prayers, dude. And eat your dang vitamins.

I'm not going to say Hogan is a terrible dad, because you can tell he loves his kids. But the choices this guy makes are borderline laughable. My advice? If you can't fade away with dignity, then devote your life to charity.

When the Hogan story came up this week at work, one colleague shouted, "Hogan? Who cares!" No man on Earth would ever want that said about him. But Hogan's pathetic media pandering begs those types of comments.

Bottom line: A good father doesn't put his family in a fishbowl and then beg for mercy when something goes wrong. And in the "something goes wrong" department, I've barely even touched the tip of the public iceberg when it comes to this clan.

Brother.

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