Listen up!

The mail is piling up. That means I print the best e-mails and follow them up with some of the wittiest wrestling writing on God's green Earth. Can't wait to get going? Me too! Let's start with a question from Alex:

Professor: I looked up "idiot" in the dictionary and your picture was published right next to it. What do you think of that? -- Alex

Was it a good picture? Did they spell my name right? Plug the column? That's all I care about. Oh, by the way, quit making up stuff.

Professor: Is it true that you're wanted in 50 states for impersonating a writer? -- Ethan

Are you merely jealous of my success Ethan? If so, it's understood. Now go back to your "room."

Professor: Fix the results, dummy. -- Carlo

Ah, dearest Carlo, who was miffed that Monday's column wasn't properly reflecting the WWE "Great American Bash" results. Well, Carlo, that problem was limited to just a few Web sites (this syndicated column appears on about 70 nationwide) and for the record -- I'm not the tech guy. And Carlo, who had the audacity to call me a dummy, simply couldn't figure out who won the matches by simply going to WWE.com. When did Carlo write? Wednesday. The event was Sunday. Dummy? Not me!

Professor: Why so much bashing on Vince and WWE? If it wasn't for McMahon, I think wrestling would be dead. Vince was a visionary and realized things needed to be changed. -- Paul

Paul, I agree with you. McMahon is a visionary. When it comes to modern-day promoters, he's the man and will probably always be the man. However, you have to admit he still does a lot of dopey things. Perhaps that's just the result of having to crank out seven hours of new TV every week -- but it would be nice to always be proud of his product rather than still make excuses for it. Perfect example: When JBL rammed a car into John Cena on "Raw" a few weeks ago. Dumb. Fake. Pointless. How to do it right? Focus on storylines like the one going on between Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels, where it's just two guys with a difference of opinion (Y2J calling Michaels a liar) putting on a great program -- week in, week out.

Professor: What are your thoughts of Sting returning to TNA? -- Brian

Sting still wrestles? Wow. I didn't notice. As for TNA as a whole, I got some heat a few weeks ago for not covering the "Victory Road" pay-per-view. Well, truth be told, I was vacationing in "Parts Unknown" where there are no computers, cell phones or Internet connections. Did you as wrestling fans miss a thing by not seeing that results page? No, you did not.

In the main event of that show, for example, TNA went off the air after the Booker T/Samoa Joe title bout went to a "no contest." No one knew who the champion was. What? Don't we pay money for definitive results? It was another shameful chapter in TNA's uneven history.

Professor: What happened to your podcast? I haven't heard it for two weeks. -- Andrew

Well, Andrew, it's like this: We took a little summer vacation with the podcast ("Old School, New School"), but we'll be back in action next week. If you want to download any and/or all of the previous 81 episodes, JUST CLICK HERE!

OK, I like to save the best for last. I received this letter in February. It's a bit long, but I wanted to make sure I could reprint as much as possible. It's from Roger Gonzales, a U.S. soldier serving in Iraq:

Professor: I have a unique story for you about wrestling memories.

Let me first say that I am a proud U.S. Army soldier serving in Iraq that will be home soon. This is my second deployment here. With that being said, as you know the WWE does a "Tribute to the Troops" show where they actually do a show that airs during Christmas week. Well, as a very loyal fan, I have been to three of the four shows that they performed here in Iraq.

In 2006, the WWE performed at Camp Victory and I had been in the country for just a week and I made it to the show. It helped that I work a block away from where the show was being held. I volunteered my spare time (what spare time I had) to help set up the ring.

At that time I met Lillian Garcia, the ring announcer for Raw and Michael Cole, the (former) broadcaster for "Smackdown!" Both were very nice to me at talked to me during the little time that they had.

Cole asked me if I had some kind of coat to wear because the show was military-themed and all he had was civilian clothes. So I let him borrow my Gotex jacket for the show. My jacket made it on the show but I didn't!

Then I talked to Lillian. I thanked her for making the trip and that as a soldier, it really meant a lot for them to show up and perform for us. Then I gave her my dog tags as a souvenir. She thanked me and let me get a picture with her.

Well I wasn't planning on being here for the 2007 show but because of the extension -- I was. As sad as I was for being here longer than I wanted to, I knew that if the WWE were going to perform in Iraq, I was definitely going to be there. I gave up my four-day Qatar pass to go to the show.

As before, I volunteered my free time to be part of the set-up crew. On the second day, someone told me that Cole had arrived at the set. I went up to him and he greeted me casually but when I took off my hat, he recognized me from the last event and was pleasantly shocked that I was still in Iraq. We talked for a good 30 minutes, and he made sure that I ended up on the WWE website which was pretty cool.

On the day of the event, the crew had their own meet and greet with the superstars. We lined up and due to time constraints, they needed six personnel to volunteer to take pictures for the soldiers on the setup crew. Well, I was surprised that I had the camera position, right across from Lillian Garcia!

When there was a small break I said "Hi" to Lillian and she said, "Hello." I said to her, "Can I ask you a question?" She said, "Sure, go ahead." I asked "Last year, I gave you my dog tags. Do you still have them?" She gasped and remembered who I was and she got up and gave me a great big hug. She was wondering about whatever happened to me and she pulled out the same dog tags, except she had them polished all nice and shiny.

Then we both had our picture taken together with both my camera AND her camera. She wanted a picture of me. What a switch, a superstar wanted MY picture! Anyways, after the show she told me of when she went to the "Best Damn Sports Show" and told the story of me giving her my dog tags to her. Before we parted ways I thanked her again for performing for us and making us forget, at least during the last four days, that we were at war.

After the show was over I went back to prepare to come back to Baghdad, but I paused to thank God for those superstars to come 8,000 miles just to entertain us. I've been to more than 30 live WWE events but that last one in Iraq, was the most memorable one and I will hold in my mind and in my heart as long as I live. -- Roger

Thanks, Roger. Get home soon, and God bless you for your service to our great nation.

That's it!

Class is … dismissed!

(Professor Wrestling is a masked employee of Internet Broadcasting, hailing from Parts Unknown. Got a question, comment, complaint? E-mail him right here. )