Listen up!

The e-mail is piling up, so I'm dedicating this column to you, the students of a silly little entity known as pro wrestling. As usual, I like to get the rough stuff out of the way. We begin with a missive from Dan:

Hey Dummy:
Do you even exist? I mean, are you a real person? Or just a joke? -- Dan

Well, Danny Boy, let me just say that I'm a real person (with real feelings) who happens to wear a mask while he types out this weekly column. You will never see my face, however. If I don't keep my identity secret, my enemies -- and these days they number in the tens of thousands -- may threaten my family. But yes, I'm very real. If you want to see the mugs of my "Old School, New School" associates, however, check out the image below. That's Dr. Mike Lano and George "The Authority" Schire together in Las Vegas a few months ago. Do their voices match their faces? There's only one way to find out. Download EPISODE 85 of our fantastic podcast, "Old School, New School," right here. This week, we talk about the late Killer Kowalski, Chris Jericho and Santino's unibrow. It’s very good stuff. OK, plug over, next letter:

Professor:
Is there anyone who keeps records? Like how many wins and losses a competitor has? How many submissions or countouts? And if there is, is there anywhere to view them? I appreciate your help on this one. -- DJ

Well, DJ, not to be a jerk, but you'll have to listen to our podcast to get the answer. It's near the end of the show, answered very adeptly by Dr. Mike and George.

Dear Professor Wrestling:
After hearing your last podcast, I had to write in. One of your cohorts, George "The Authority" Schire put up a challenge that he could do a better job at the WWE and bring "wrestling back to what it was." I however, think that he will fail, not because of his experience, but there will be a revolt from the fans.

You see, I believe the current wrestling fans are happy with today's product. The fans are younger and I don't think they could even sit through an old-school wrestling match without becoming restless.

Everybody likes to bash Vince McMahon on the product that he puts out. But if the current product is what the fan wants, why change just based on the opinion of one guy? And if the fans are not happy, what out there is a replacement? Going back to the old-school style is just not feasible. -- David

Well, David, I have to say you bring up some excellent points. Watching old school matches is a bore-fest for a lot of people, who say they just move too slow. But have you noticed how entertaining longer matches can be, especially when done by two current greats such as Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels? The old school style may not replace today's product, but it should have A place.

Podcast: 'Old School, New School' -- Episode 85

Prof:
Is HHH getting boring? I like him, but his character to me is getting stale. Maybe he needs to do something like the Undertaker does. Every couple of years, change it up. -- Paul

Well, Paul, you have a good point: HHH doesn’t change much. But if your father-in-law owned the company, how much "reinvention" would you do? Trips is on easy street. That's why he's the WWE champ.

Professor:
Why do so many wrestlers leave WWE (such as Booker T) and sign with TNA? -- James

James, in part it's because TNA tapes shows just a few times a month. The wrestlers have a less-hectic road schedule and have more time to heal from nagging injuries. Don't get me wrong. Sometimes WWE simply fires wrestlers and those performers have no other option than to sign with TNA. While TNA has a lot of good points, working for WWE is still the goal of most wrestlers in this country. They're the gold standard and likely will be for decades.

That's it. If I didn't get to your letter, I'd like to apologize. But I try to get to most of them. With that, there's only three words left this week:

Class … is dismissed!

(Professor Wrestling is a masked employee of Internet Broadcasting, hailing from Parts Unknown. Got a question, comment, complaint? E-mail him right here. )