Parents, teens need to come up with a plan for summer

Fordson High School social worker offers advice to help keep teenagers out of trouble during summertime

DETROIT – Mariam Shammout is used to her mother checking up on her and understands that it's for a very good reason.

"She'll call me. She'll talk to my adviser. If I'm doing something with Miss Schankowski, she'll give them a call and say, 'Hey, you know, is she really with you?" said Shammout. "I think that's really helpful to keep us on track and to keep us communicating."

The senior at Fordson High School in Dearborn is the president of the Peer to Peer Club at the school. 

The club works with Anna Schankowski, a high school social worker at Fordson High School in the Dearborn Public School District, to promote acceptance and positive relationships among students.

With school ending in early June, Shammout thinks it's a good idea for parents to put their students in summer activities or programs so that they can see their peers over the break.

"Kids who don't interact with everybody their age during the summer, I mean, kind of have a harder time, so if they're around peers and around kids their age, they'll have an easier time," Shammout said.

Schankowski said parents need to consider what might happen to their teenager's support system once school is out.

"During the school year we all pack up our kids and our teenagers and we send them to school and during the school day they are supervised and they are supported by their teachers, their counselors, by anyone that they've identified as a mentor for themselves," she said.

If parents are concerned about that support system, Schankowski said it is a good idea to call their child's school and talk about it.

"Set a meeting and sit and talk with them and say 'I'm concerned about my child. I want to make sure they have this safe person that they can go to during the summer and talk to them,'" said Schankowski.

Parents should work with their teen to determine who their summer support will be because picking that person for them will never work.

Schedules are important too, even over the summer.

Schankowski recommends parents work with their teenager to come up with a schedule together.

"This needs to be a conversation that you have with your teen. 'What is your day going to look like?'  So they understand what is expected from them. For example, the schedule could look like, 'I expect you to get up between 10:30 and 11 (a.m.).' Don't allow them to sleep until 2, 3 o'clock in the afternoon," said Schankowski. "The reason I say this is because a teen that sleeps until 2 or 3 o'clock in the afternoon is going to be up until 2 or 3 in the morning and then they're unsupervised again."

Supervision changes over the summer. During the school year, teenagers are supervised during school hours, and parents know where they are or at least where they are supposed to be during that time.

Schankowski said parents should talk to their teenager about what supervision will look like over the summer. She also said parents should not be afraid to check in on their student.

"The kids don't like it initially, but what if you check up on them at lunch time and you come with their favorite food? That's a great thing. That's you saying 'I care about you, and I'm going to show up, and I'm going to check in on you.  I'm bringing you your favorite lunch, but you're going to know I'm checking up on you and I'm going to make sure you're doing what I expect you to do because this is what I do. I'm your parent and I love you,'" Schankowski said.

She also warns parents should be careful checking up on your child behind their back with things like with a hidden tracker on their phone. She said when they find out, that's going to put a real kink in the trusting relationship you have with them, and it could be difficult to repair.

Parents can also be very specific about their concerns with their teenager. Schankowski said by telling your teenager exactly what you're worried about reminds them that you care and want them to be safe.

Teenagers often reconnect with their friends more over the summer.  Schankowski said parents should ask to meet their child's friends and even their friends' parents before letting them go out together.