No. 2: Grilling trinkets

Just about every man fancies himself a grillmaster.

That does not, however, mean that every man wants a Williams-Sonoma nonstick vegetable grilling basket, a fish holder, a remote-operated meat thermometer or a hand-sewn grilling mitt for Father's Day.

Don't buy him sacks of exotic smoking woods, barbecue sauces made with unpronounceable tropical fruits or spice rubs that contain more cayenne pepper than riot control spray.

And above all else, do NOT buy your father a new grill for Father's Day. When you buy a grill for a man, what you're saying is, "Here, you've been doing it wrong for all these years. Use this and you can grill properly." You're taking all those years of burgers, steaks, hot dogs and s'mores made over the dying coals and dumping charcoal ash on them.

But even that's not as bad as our last selection.