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Ask a Wizard

Your questions can be answered by an actual wizard

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In 1996 a shimmering purple disc materialized in the break room of WDIV Local 4, hovering slightly above the ground. An arm reached through the portal, taking a coffee and a Walkman CD player containing one copy of Beck's "Odelay" from from then intern Donna Harper. 22 years later, the purple disc rematerialized and a man in a wizard's robe stepped through.

"Getting a quick refill on this bad boy," said the man, evidently still holding the coffee cup from years ago.

Donna, who was now in charge of hiring interns, recognized the advantages of having access to magic and hired the man on the spot. "Grimshanks the Self-Important" now has an internship with the 1D4 section of WDIV!

This is why and how we are now able to bring you the segment we're calling "Ask A Wizard". Our resident magic user, Grimshanks the Self-Important, will answer any question you have.

Or not. Anything he does or does not do, we're finding, is highly dependent on his mood. Still, ask your questions below or use #askgrimshanks on Twitter. Questions will be answered when Grimshanks can be bothered, so stay tuned here or keep an eye on Twitter.

Grimshanks the Self-Important's views are not necessarily the views of WDIV. In no way does WDIV recommend you actually follow any advice given by Grimshanks the Self-Important, as the rules of his reality seem to operate differently from our own.