Ask a Wizard

Your questions can be answered by an actual wizard

In 1996 a shimmering purple disc materialized in the break room of WDIV Local 4, hovering slightly above the ground. An arm reached through the portal, taking a coffee and a Walkman CD player containing one copy of Beck's "Odelay" from from then intern Donna Harper. 22 years later, the purple disc rematerialized and a man in a wizard's robe stepped through.

"Getting a quick refill on this bad boy," said the man, evidently still holding the coffee cup from years ago.

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Donna, who was now in charge of hiring interns, recognized the advantages of having access to magic and hired the man on the spot. "Grimshanks the Self-Important" now has an internship with the 1D4 section of WDIV!

This is why and how we are now able to bring you the segment we're calling "Ask A Wizard". Our resident magic user, Grimshanks the Self-Important, will answer any question you have.

Or not. Anything he does or does not do, we're finding, is highly dependent on his mood. Still, ask your questions below or use #askgrimshanks on Twitter. Questions will be answered when Grimshanks can be bothered, so stay tuned here or keep an eye on Twitter.

Grimshanks the Self-Important's views are not necessarily the views of WDIV. In no way does WDIV recommend you actually follow any advice given by Grimshanks the Self-Important, as the rules of his reality seem to operate differently from our own.