DETROIT – Just after I had returned from the barbershop, my brother, who is bald, shook his head and told me at my parents' kitchen table, "The time has come to let it go."
That was in 2011.
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While so many others see the retreat in motion, we tell ourselves it is just a bad haircut. We blame the barber. It will grow back. The truth is it never does.
Denial is the first stage of coping with male pattern baldness.
Deep inside I knew I was headed for the George Jefferson hairstyle and I did not want that. I had promised myself I would make the decision to shave it all off before genetics decided for me.
A toupee was out of the question. So, my brother took me down to the basement bathroom, pulled out the hair clippers and got to work.
My middle-aged dad, who was dealing with a hairline dashing away at the speed of Usain Bolt, watched on.
It felt like a rite of passage.
As each strand of hair fell to the floor, I knew I would never be able to "let my soul glo" if the Jheri curl made its way back into style or be able to grow a Kid 'n Play high-top fade, again.
After my brother was done, I looked in the mirror and liked what I saw starring back at me, the new bald me.
Male pattern baldness is the most common type of hair loss among men, accounting for more than 95 percent of cases, according to the American Hair Loss Association.
Saying goodbye
The lyrics to that popular 90s' Boyz II Men song, "It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday," perfectly summarize how devastating hair loss can be, especially for younger men.
There is a multi-billion dollar hair loss industry that profits on this insecurity.
Shamel Golden works as a stylist at Little Willie's Hair Salon on Grand River Avenue on Detroit's west side.
He says some men are struggling to face reality.
"I think when they're trying to make it work, it's like they just don't want to give up. It's like I'm holding onto it until the last straw," said Golden, who is bald.
Golden first shaved his head well before his hair was thinning and receding.
In 1999 Tony Snesko started an online support community for follicly challenged men called Bald R Us.
"I just wanted it to be a service site for bald people because there were so many people that were struggling," said Snesko, who works as a private investigator and process server in Washington, D.C.
Bald R Us has reached tens of thousands of men with male pattern baldness.
The website encourages men to embrace their hair loss.
"All men are losing their hair. It's the manly man that yields to it and takes it all off," Snesko said.
He wishes it would not have taken him 20 years to do so.
Snesko's comb-over frustrated his wife. One day she sat him in a stool and took his hairline, or the lack thereof, out of its misery, one stroke at a time with her Schick women's razor.
"It was really because of the courage of my wife that I did this," he chuckled, remembering the moment that her razor began gliding across his head.
To shave it off or not
Jon Jordan, the style editor for Local 4, says, "Hair does matter when it comes to style, but style is not dependent on having hair."
The comb-over is never acceptable. Repeat. It's never acceptable, he says.
"They don't fool anyone and send a message of despair about your hair. I don't judge anyone who is traumatized by hair loss, but I do judge the resolution. Comb-overs are not stylish, ever, and they are more feats of engineering than works of art," Jordan said.
If attracting women is a concern, most polls show they like the bald look.
"Speaking from a woman's point of view, I think it's sexy when a man is bald. If you keep the receding hairline, your head is looking like a horseshoe. I don't think that's sexy," said Karen Robinson, who works as an assistant at Little Willie's Hair Salon.
Bald celebrities like LL Cool J, The Rock, Taye Diggs, Andre Agassi and Bruce Willis have no problems finding beautiful women to date. Of course, they are rich. That helps a lot, too.
"There's a bold, confident, sleek, sexiness to shaved heads. Men blessed with handsome faces can make the most of them by making them a focal point, sans hair," said Jordan, who still has a full head of hair.
I will celebrate my 4th baldversary this September.
I have saved lots of money on haircuts over the years because I shave my own head.
As you are shopping for Father's Day, the best gift might be a nice razor and some shaving cream, not the usual tie or power tool, for your balding loved one. Or you can just share this blog with them.
The initial shock might be painful for them, but the men will thank you in the long run. Trust me.
To all my newly bald brothers, don't worry or be embarrassed about the glare from your hairless dome, just embrace it and get your shine on.