Expert: Parents, meet your children's friends this summer

Dearborn high school social worker believes there's an important personal connection with parents and kids' friends

Teenagers have more free time during the summer, which often gives them the opportunity to reconnect with their friends.  

Anna Schankowski, a metro Detroit high school social worker, recommends parents meet those friends before their kids head out to hang out with them.

"Tell your teenagers, 'I would love for you to spend time with your friends, but I have to meet them first,'" Schankowsi said.  "I would love to meet your friends parents, I would love for them to meet me.'"

Schankowski, a social worker at Fordson High School in Dearborn, said busy schedules often keep parents from meeting friends but they need to make time to do it.

"That's who's helping shape her and her time, and my sons friends because that's part of their life," Schankowski.

Fordson High School senior Miram Shammout is president of the Peer to Peer Club at Fordson, she said she understands why parents check in. They are the two people who care most about you.

"I've introduced my friends to my parents, all my friends, and if my mom told me that they're not the greatest people to be around, I kind of learned it the hard way, but she was always right," said  Shammout.

Schankowski emphasizes a personal connection is made when parents meet their children's friends and it could help them make better decision.

"I have to know who they're hanging out (with) and it establishes a personal connection. It humanizes us, so when those kids are hanging out together maybe that personalization will help them make a better decision as a group when they're hanging out" said Schankowski.

"It only takes one kid, or two, two is even better.  If two kids step up and say 'This is not a good idea guys' it increases drastically the amount that kids will make a better choice, not do something bad like go out drinking, or drive erratically on highway or do something that they'll regret for the rest of their life."

Other parents agree that moms and dads should meet the parents of their children's friends.

"The kids are probably going to be a lot like the parents and it's important to know the parents, know where they're going and spending time," said Maggie McEvoi, a parent in Grosse Pointe.

Another piece of advice, Schankowski said parents should talk to their teenagers about their worries and fears.  She said have a family meeting and talk about those issues and ask the teenager what questions or concerns they might have.  She said honesty is the best policy with teenagers.


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