Remembering my old friend, Rachel Jacobs

The Huntington Woods native killed in Tuesday's Amtrak crash was the founder of Detroit Nation, a group connecting ex-metro Detroiters with good works in their hometown.

This week is a milestone I've been dreading. On Thursday, I turn 40 years old.

I had an early birthday lunch Sunday with my oldest friend, Kelly. She and I have been friends since 6th grade. Sadly, we spent much of the lunch talking about our old classmate Rachel Jacobs, who died last week in the Amtrak train crash.

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Kelly and Rachel had known each other since Burton Elementary School in Huntington Woods. I met both Kelly and Rachel at Norup Middle School. We would be classmates for the next 7 years, graduating together as part of the class of 1993 at Berkley High School. This is supposed to be a milestone year for our class. The year we all hit the big 4-0. But last week, there was Rachel's picture, plastered all over the news: ‘Dead at age 39'.

It's not fair that Rachel won't celebrate her 40th birthday along with the rest of us.

It's not fair that Rachel's young husband is now a widower and it's not fair that her 2-year-old son will never know his mom.

It's not fair that I lost touch with my old classmate so many years ago.

You always think you have more time to re-connect. But life sometimes has other plans. I've been flooded with so many memories, since I heard the awful news a few days ago.

Rachel was such a big part of my adolescence. It's hard to think of High School and Junior High without remembering her.

Rachel was brilliant. She was always in the top, advanced classes. School seemed effortless to her, while school was always a struggle for me. I both envied and admired her intelligence.

I'll also remember how active she was with after school groups, political causes, and the drama department. Rachel was involved in everything. And truth be told, I usually was too. Sometimes that made us allies and sometimes rivals. We were both founding members of Berkley's ‘Student Environmental Action Committee'. Both of us wanted to be the leader of the group. Only one could. It was a healthy rivalry. I know she always pushed me to work harder.

It's no coincidence that Rachel would live a life of advocacy into her adult years.

Sadly, we lost touch after graduation. But a few years ago, I got a message from Rachel. At the time, I was living overseas but she found me through social media.

She asked me to join a group she had started called "Detroit Nation". She wanted those of us who grew up in Detroit to get involved and to give back to the community that gave us so much.

Her invite inspired me to see what Rachel and others were doing for our hometown. Not long after, I moved home to Detroit for the first time in nearly 20 years.

Today Rachel is back home herself, being laid to rest. And that makes me both sad and angry. I'm still in shock that a senseless train accident cut short this vibrant life.

Trains are supposed to be the safe way to get around. It's unfathomable to me, that Rachel and 7 others lost their lives doing something so routine as riding a train between New York and D.C.

Many of our old classmates are planning to get together, after the funeral, to remember Rachel and to share favorite stories from school. The fact that we're all turning 40 undoubtedly will come up. All of us, except Rachel.

I was dreading, the big 4-0. Now I'm grateful.

Why does it always take a tragedy to remind us how lucky we are? So, today, along with my shock and my sadness and my anger, I'll try to focus on that feeling of gratitude.

Gratitude that I knew Rachel. Gratitude that Rachel made such an impact on so many, including me.

May her legacy live on. And may her memory be a blessing.