A Winter Wonderland...OF MONSTERS!

It's the most HORRIFYING time of the year

By Michelle McAlpine - Creative Services Intern

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Winter is a magical time when you can watch the beauty of the first snowfall on the cusp of the holiday season. It's a time where you can stay inside and snuggle under a blanket, sipping a huge mug of hot chocolate. Nothing bad can happen during this wonderful time, right?

WRONG. SO WRONG. In case you didn't know, there are monsters out there. OK, maybe not really, but let's just say that there are because we have super-active imaginations. Which monsters should you be afraid of during the chilliest time of the year? Vote in our poll so that we know which monster is the worst of the worst. 

The Abominable Snowman 


The Abominable Snowman, also known as the Yeti, is a creature from Himalayan folklore. It's an ape-like creature who is covered in either white or gray hair, has sharp teeth, and stands at around 6 to 8 feet in height (although the shapes and sizes of Yetis vary). They tend to hang around the mountains and fly solo, very rarely being seen. Typically, people only see the alarmingly large footprints that they leave behind. The Sherpa people used the Yeti as a message to not wander off and leave the wild animals alone, so I wouldn't try petting the Yeti.

The Yeti at some points in its life took a break in its mountain-dwelling career and made some movie appearances, including "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" and "Monsters, Inc." So maybe they aren't so bad? I wouldn't chance it. 

Krampus

This horrifying creature is basically Santa if he had goat-like features and a violent streak. Krampus is not made of sugar, spice, and everything nice. He's a half-goat, half-demon who likes to visit naughty children and hit them with sticks.

If you're really lucky, Krampus might even take you to his lair (I'll let you know right now, it's not as nice as the North Pole!)  But don't worry, he only comes around once a year. December 5 is the day Krampus likes to make house-visits with Santa (Santa needs some new friends), so it might be a good idea to plan a trip away that day. 

Frosty the Snowman

You're probably thinking "Frosty the Snowman? Seriously?" YES. SERIOUSLY. The scholarly website of Reddit  has determined that Frosty is a lich, which is an undead immortal necromancer that doesn't bring joy to children during the holidays.

The hat that Frosty wears isn't just for style, it's the home that the lich lives in that allows it to be immortal and take over a body (in this case a poor, innocent snowman). But it's not as simple as just putting on a hat, as the lich needs to eat some souls in order to maintain their physical form. "Thumpity-thump-thump," isn't just a cute part to the "Frosty the Snowman" song, it's the sound of bodies falling as their souls get sucked out of them.

So the cute "Frosty the Snowman" song is forever ruined. Don't trust Frosty.  

Santa?

That's right, old Saint Nick himself. He's a highly suspicious individual. Why is his suit blood-red? How and why is he able to get into people's houses? What's his motive for giving away presents? What's to stop him from turning on us all? He has all these powers that are used to spread joy and a bunch of elves who can make ANYTHING.

On top of that, the elves could very easily be the army that Santa uses to spell our demise. Also, why is he hanging out with Krampus, who is definitely not a good influence? And if Frosty has taught us anything, it's that we can't have nice things. 

*Editor's note: Listen, it's not about what Santa is, but what Santa could be. The man is the perfect home invader, he has the industrial capacity to make anything from toy trains to ipads, and he has the ability to cover more ground in a single night than any known government agency. If we believe there's even a 1% chance that he is our enemy, then we must take it as an absolute certainty.

 

HE SEES YOU WHEN YOU'RE SLEEPING, HE KNOWS WHEN YOU'RE AWAKE.

 

Which monster do you think is the most threatening during the winter? Take our poll below and tell us who we should be afraid of.