There's an old saying: "Never trust a turkey."
Okay, that may not be a real saying, but it doesn't mean it's not true. Turkeys are the least trustworthy birds on the planet. Can you blame them for being suspicious?
Every year, humans gather to kill and eat them just for fun. And after eating them, we complain that they make us sleepy. And then we make amazing leftover sandwiches (thanks, Ross!).
Guys, I'm talking about Thanksgiving. While we're celebrating and being full and thankful, turkeys are slowly teaming up to stage a rebellion. It's not too early to switch to chickens. They seem clueless.
Just this year, the notorious North Campus turkey in Ann Arbor was killed by the Michigan DNR. His demise was falsely reported several times with some saying he’d been hit by a car, and somehow, he always came back. I’m honestly not even buying that it’s dead now.
Turkeys are super creepy and evil and there's proof:
In this video, turkeys are seen circling what looks to be some type of corpse. Why? Because they're super weird and are plotting against us. This is a warning shot to us all.
This video shows an army of turkeys. AN ARMY, GUYS. Turkeys shouldn't have an army. It's not going to fly here.
In this video, this turkey tried to take out an innocent biker. What's next? Turkeys attacking kids on tricycles? It's not good, guys. This isn't good.
Not even Local 4 is safe from these monster birds. Back in 2012, a turkey who was terrorizing a woman in Commerce Township took its aggression out on Local 4's Roger Weber and Alex Atwell.
Even more recently, a news station in Milwaukee published a story about a mailman who is regularly chased by a mean turkey on his mail route -- every single day!
YOU THINK ITS A GAME?!?— Tony Atkins (@TonyAtkinsTV) November 19, 2019
-Turkey, 2019 pic.twitter.com/gGlie1ogS5
And over in New Jersey, a woman says turkeys destroyed her grandson’s blow up pool and are terrorizing people in her neighborhood.
“I had a small blow-up pool in my backyard for my grandson; it lasted exactly one day,” said Cindy Lijoi. “They pecked holes in it. It’s been a nuisance and it really needs to be addressed. They peck at people’s cars; you can’t get out the door sometimes because they won’t move.”
So, what’s the point?
Basically, we really need to keep an eye on what turkeys are doing year-round. We only pay attention to them in November, but what are they doing in September?
Anyway, enjoy your Thanksgiving!