DETROIT - It is human nature that we blame each other for bad things that happen in our world. We want misfortune, tragedy and violence to make sense.
It is the randomness that terrifies us. If we can see a logical reason why something bad happened, then there is a good chance we can avoid it. At least that’s what we tell ourselves. But blame so rarely helps, especially when it is misplaced. And we do that a lot.
I saw a post this week on Facebook. Bullying is always going to be a thing. Stop wrapping your kids in cotton. Teach them to stand up and defend themselves. Stop raising a society of victims.
I agree with one point. We need to teach our children to be strong: learn how to lose with dignity, bounce back from defeat. Accept that rejection and failure are healthy parts of life if we learn from our losses and disappointments, and come back stronger the next time. But, the true measure of strength is rarely found in a punch.
So, we rely on blame for our answers, and we like our answers simple. The solution to bullying is to teach victims to fight. The solution to sexual assault is to tell a woman where to walk, how to talk and how to dress.
By this logic, when a bank gets robbed, we should tell the banker it is your fault for having all that money inside. It was just too tempting. Suddenly, blaming the victim makes no sense.
We blame victims because it is easier than stopping the bully or the rapist.
Those solutions come in examining our families and schools, our interactions on social media, the lies and hypocrisy in government and religion, our tough guy culture that distracts us from real strength. We prefer memes and tweets.
We like solutions fast and simple, but the best ones rarely are.
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