It’s Michigan-Ohio State week, which means it’s time to reflect on how great the state of Michigan is, compared to Ohio.
We do share a lot, like, a border and the need for oxygen. But there’s so much more that makes Michigan better. Here’s a long list:
We have the beer
Michigan's beer industry has been booming in the last decade, leaving Ohio beer in the dust. Ohio has 1.5 breweries per capita, 23rd in the nation. Michigan has 4.5 per capita, 11th in the nation, with 330 craft breweries, ranking fourth in the nation. (Brewers Association)
We have the pizza
In 2021, Michigan-based pizza chains accounted for four of the top 15 pizza chains in the country. Ohio had one -- Marco’s Pizza -- which is Toledo based. So it’s basically a Michigan chain.
We have the championships
Michigan (Detroit) has enjoyed plenty of sports success, racking up 22 major sports championships, which is the fifth most for any North American city. Cleveland has had nine and Cincinnati has had five. And it'd be one less if LeBron wasn't such a nice guy.
We have the better sports teams
In every category we could find, Detroit sports teams have outperformed Cleveland sports teams historically.
The Lions, Tigers, Red Wings and Pistons all lead in all-time series records with the Browns, Indians, Blue Jackets and Cavaliers.
We have fewer speed traps
Ohio police are known by Michiganders as the strictest speeding enforcers known to mankind. Ohio ranks sixth for speeding violations. Ohio is one of only two states that allows individual cities to set their own fines and fees, resulting in a patchwork of speeding violation rules across the state. Indeed, Cleveland.com reports that speeding tickets in northeast Ohio can vary by $100 or more along the same street.
We have the music
Putting aside the fact that Motown was founded in Detroit, which essentially puts Michigan ahead of every state for music, we still have a better group of musicians who call Michigan home.
In Michigan, we have Bob Seger, Eminem, Kid Rock, Madonna, Stevie Wonder, Diana Ross, Glenn Frey and Iggy Pop, to name a few.
Ohio has Dean Martin, Marilyn Manson, Doris Day, John Legend and wait for it -- Lil' Bow Wow. We'll let you decide on that one.
We have the lakes
Michigan not only has amazing lakes, including the Great Lakes, we also have the highest percentage of water area for any state in the country. 41.5 percent of Michigan is water. Ohio is at 8.8 percent. So, if you want to walk on land for your whole life, move to Ohio. (Lame)
We have the trees (and fall colors)
Michigan ranks 16th for forest cover, compared to Ohio's 32nd. Michigan also has more maple trees than almost any state in the country. Also, our fall colors put Ohio's to shame, especially in Northern Michigan.
We have nicer spiders
In Ohio, spiders run free and it's insane. Black widows and recluse spiders are both found in Ohio. In Michigan, the only dangerous spiders come from people who are visiting from Ohio or even further south. Keep your spiders to yourself, Ohio.
We have the cars
The biggest industry in Ohio is... the automotive industry. The automotive industry came from where? Oh yeah, Michigan. You're welcome, Ohio.
We were ranked No. 1
Thrillist ranked Michigan as the No. 1 state in America. Ohio was ranked No. 48. 'Nuff said.
We also ranked higher than Ohio in the 2022 list of best states to live in, so we’ll take that win, too.
We have the clearer skies
In Detroit, it’s cloudy with a chance of more clouds. Data compiled by Polaris and The Weather Channel found that Detroit is among the 10 cloudiest cities in the U.S. The data comes from over 600 cities and nearly 22,000 data points.
Detroit ranked No. 2 on the list. But guess who ranked No. 1? You guessed it. Ohio. Youngstown, to be specific. Have fun with those clouds!
We have the Upper Peninsula
The nearly bloodless Toledo War of 1835 resulted in Ohio getting Toledo. Congrats, guys! What did they give up? THE UPPER PENINSULA. At the time, it was considered worthless, but now we know the truth -- it's priceless. I think we all know who won that war.
We could go on and on and on, but we’re pretty sure you get the point. Michigan is better than Ohio. Well, besides for our roads.