What can be done to prevent bullying? Here’s what an expert told us

If you haven’t experienced bullying yourself then you probably at least know someone who has.

Bullying has plagued schools for generations. The behavior is so deeply engrained that some people even consider it a rite of passage -- but an expert says we shouldn’t think of it that way.

The expert believes bullying behavior doesn’t belong in Michigan schools. We have a lot of data on bullying in Michigan schools -- but it’s a complicated topic and there is no simple solution.

Let’s talk about what we’ve uncovered.

This is just one part of Local 4’s interactive investigative report on Michigan school safety. Here’s what’s in the entire report:

• Data from Michigan’s student safety program (OK2SAY) dating back to 2014.
• Data from Michigan’s Center for Educational Performance and Information (CEPI) that breaks down incidents of bullying and the number of violent crime victims in Michigan’s schools.
• District-level data on bullying and violent crime numbers for districts in Southeast Michigan.
• You can find all our school safety investigation coverage here.

---> Click here to view the interactive investigative report.

What does the data show us?

If we start with the data from Michigan’s student safety program (OK2SAY) then we can get an idea of what the top concerns are.

The top tip categories reported to OK2SAY over the last decade are:

• Suicide threats
• Bullying

Bullying and cyberbullying are two separate categories in the OK2SAY system. If we combine them, then bullying takes the top spot by far.

The other top categories are drugs, other (anxiety, stress, depression, harassment), and sexual assault (including misconduct and exploitation).

What does this tell us? That students are experiencing anger, hurt, and stress. So, how can we help? Maybe we start by taking a look at bullying.

Bullying is a ‘specific act of aggression’

• Michigan law considers acts that are intended to harm one or more pupils as bullying.
• Researchers consider bullying a specific act of aggression that involves a power imbalance.

Michigan law defines bullying as any “written, verbal, or physical act, or any electronic communication that is intended or that a reasonable person would know is likely to harm one or more pupils.”

Julie McDaniel-Muldoon is very familiar with bullying prevention. She is a safety and well-being consultant with Oakland Schools. She explained that bullying is a little more complicated than how it’s defined in state law.

According to Julie, the research community defines bullying as a “very specific act of aggression” which is separated from other acts of aggression by a power imbalance.

“So bullying has three characteristics, not one or a combination of them. All three must be present. The first is that it’s intentional, it’s purposeful, this is not done by accident. The second is that it can be repeated, or likely to be repeated, or has been repeated, and with different individuals involved. But the power imbalance is the most important part, and it’s truly what separates bullying from all other acts of aggression,” Julie said.

According to Julie, the person “engaging in bullying behavior” believes they are worth more than the person who is being targeted.

There are steps the adults need to take when a student reports that they are being bullied. She said the first thing they need to to is make sure the students are safe.

“To sort out whether it’s bullying or not will take a little bit of time, and so what we want to do is to alleviate the danger in a situation, and then we can sort things out. So, what I say is that bullying is a conversation. It is not something that we make an immediate judgment for, because it has to be very thoughtful,” Julie said.

Researchers say bullying has three characteristics:

• Bullying is intentional, purposeful, and not done by accident.
• Bullying can be or has been repeated.
• There is a power imbalance between the person being bullied and the person engaging in bullying behavior.

Who does bullying harm?

Everyone, according to Julie. The act of bullying has an impact on more than just the person being targeted -- it’s impacting the entire community.

“It’s not just the people that are directly involved in this. The person engaging in the bullying behavior is also experiencing a traumatic experience as well. The person that’s being targeted is -- all community members are feeling that. So it’s not just friends and families, but a community itself, a school community, classroom community, everyone feels the impact of that bullying,” Julie said.

In 2016, the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine released a report that looked at bullying and the impact it was having. According to researchers, bullying was recognized as a major and preventable public health problem at the time -- causing poor health, anxiety, depression, and increased risk for suicide in the community.

The CDC considers bullying to be an “adverse childhood experience” that can have long-term negative impacts on a persons health, opportunity and well-being. Julie said this means bullying can cause neuro-development issues and social-emotional and cognitive impairment problems that follow the person through their life.

Has bullying gotten better or worse?

• One in five high school students report being bullied, per the CDC.
• More than one in six high school students report being bullied through texting and social media, per the CDC.

Julie said bullying prevention was a national priority for a while -- and Michigan’s statewide data reflects this. We see bullying in reach the highest point in 2017-2018 with a bullying rate per 1,000 students reaching 10.59. Then bullying rate continues to drop until the 2020-21 school year where it reaches its lowest point.

There’s a spike in the 2021-22 school year, with a bullying rate per 1,000 students hitting 9.32 -- and then wobbling down and up before reaching 7.65 just this last school year.

‘We have not moved the needle’

These numbers from the state -- and even the tips sent in to OK2SAY don’t tell the whole story. According to the CDC, bullying is a common occurrence.

“We have asked our children for 20 years, how often or have you been bullied within the last 30 days in the last 12 months? And they say yes, 20% of our children say that, and that’s one in five. And that we have not moved the needle on that,” Julie said.

According to the CDC, one in five high school students report being bullied on school property in the last year. The CDC also notes that more than one in six high school students report being bullied through texting and social media.

How can we prevent bullying?

There’s no simple solution here.

Bullying is complicated. It’s unhealthy behavior that Julie said “cannot flourish in a safe and supportive environment.”

This means to prevent bullying we need to tend to the whole child and community around them -- not just focus on one specific issue. Julie said that includes support such as suicide prevention, mental health awareness and treatment, and other programs.

Something else Julie noted, is that bullying prevention can’t be done alone.

In 2011, Michigan became the 48th state to require schools to develop policies to protect students from bullying. The legislation was known as “Matt’s Safe School Law,” which is honor of Matt Epling, a 14-year-old who died by suicide in 2002 after enduring severe bullying.

Julie said when that law was passed, she felt there was momentum behind the bullying prevention movement. She said in the years that followed there was a state committee, a summit where bullying prevention researchers came together, and programs.

And yet, they still weren’t moving the needle. Julie said all these people were doing the work, but nothing was changing. Why?

Well, according to Julie, for bullying prevention to be successful you need a “safe and supportive environment.”

“When we create these strong communities where everyone feels that sense of belonging, what we have is student achievement that goes up. We have mobility with staff that that stops bullying behavior decreases. There’s a list of 15 things that happen in strong, safe communities, and they said, ‘This is the soil we’re cultivating, and bullying prevention programs can flourish in these safe and supportive environments, because in these places, we feel the sense of safety and belonging,’” Julie said.

Bullying doesn’t define a person

Julie made it clear that bullying doesn’t define the person engaging in the act. She said that it’s a behavior that needs to be redirected.

“When we see bullying, it’s so much not who we are, that we say that this doesn’t belong here, you belong here, that behavior does not,” Julie said. “In restorative practices, we talk about the importance of separating the deed from the doer. That we separate the behavior from the value of a human being.”

According to Julie, the labels stick. “Even at 5 years old, they stick. And they become predictive. And it’s because when we throw these things around, our brains are listening to that -- and kids are listening to being called things like that -- and it becomes part of their own identity.”

That mindset, separating the deed from the doer, is what helps create the safe and supportive environment that Julie is talking about.

“From the very beginning, we need to help our kids understand that their actions don’t define them like we love you and that is unacceptable, and so that I feel like that is the most powerful part of of of these safe and supportive environments is that it’s not just bullying behavior, it’s all of us being the very best that we can, being the very best selves that we can in order to be the best for our communities. The best bullying prevention program is going to be a community mindset,” Julie said.

Julie said people all over are working to create safe and supportive environments in the classroom.

Your kid says they’re being bullied. Here’s what to do:

• Document everything. Make notes of specific behaviors, times, places, and people, and take that information to the school.

Julie said it’s OK to embrace the “mama bear” feeling you might get when your child tells you they’re being hurt -- because that’s what the child needs in the moment.

But in order to respond effectively, you’re going to want to take back your “talons” and begin documenting everything. Take note of specific behaviors, times, places, and people so that you have that information when you go to the school.

“In order to really respond in a bullying situation at school, it has to be a partnership between all parties involved, especially because the school is going to be the one that’s orchestrating that mediation so important. So be there for your child, ensure that their safety immediately,” Julie said.

Julie said bullying cannot be left to the kids to mediate on their own -- a trusted adult needs to intervene. That’s because bullying occurs when there’s a power imbalance.

What are the warning signs of bullying?

According to StopBullying.gov, there are some warning signs the community can look out for.

A child being bullied might show some of these signs -- though it’s noted that not all children show signs they are being bullied:

• Unexplainable injuries
• Lost or destroyed clothing, books, electronics, or jewelry
• Frequent headaches or stomach aches, feeling sick or faking illness
• Changes in eating habits, like suddenly skipping meals or binge eating. Kids may come home from school hungry because they did not eat lunch.
• Difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares
• Declining grades, loss of interest in schoolwork, or not wanting to go to school
• Sudden loss of friends or avoidance of social situations
• Feelings of helplessness or decreased self esteem
• Self-destructive behaviors such as running away from home, harming themselves, or talking about suicide

A child engaging in bullying behavior might show the following signs:

• Get into physical or verbal fights
• Have friends who bully others
• Are increasingly aggressive
• Get sent to the principal’s office or to detention frequently
• Have unexplained extra money or new belongings
• Blame others for their problems
• Don’t accept responsibility for their actions
• Are competitive and worry about their reputation or popularity