Jason Carr: 12 types of people I’ll never understand

Jason Carr Live on set (Copyright 2022 by WDIV ClickOnDetroit - All rights reserved.)

What is wrong with people who drive 50 in the left lane on a crowded highway?

Are they high? Low mental function? Don’t care? Entitled? Paranoid they are going to miss their exit which is still 10 miles away?

If I was to be granted a low-level superpower it would be the ability to teleport as a hologram into their passenger seat and ask them, why? WHY?!

What is wrong with people who hold up a line because they can? Looking directly at you, guy at the party store who wants to play the midday Daily 3 and has his numbers written down on a scroll of parchment paper. Meanwhile there’s 10 people in line, including me, who want to murder this guy. And he’s oblivious. This also applies to the Karen at the bank teller window with 15 transactions and because the bank is too cheap to be fully staffed there’s a line out the door.

What is wrong with that one person at the dinner out on the town who peppers the waiter with questions and then proceeds to order some off-menu item with 72 special instructions about what needs to be on the side or left off entirely? Does it get anymore selfish when everyone else is starving or dying for a beverage?

What is wrong with the pedestrian who doesn’t break into that light jog most of us do so as not to inconvenience a driver’s progress? I swear if anything it seems like they sometimes slow their walk on purpose. Arrrrrgh!

What is wrong with people who can’t help being caustic and abrasive for seemingly no reason?

What is wrong with that person at the four-way stop who daisy-chains the car in front of them so you start to go and have to slam on the brakes?

What is wrong with people who want to destroy everything in sight even though their team just WON the championship? Not lost. WON.

What is wrong with people who want to sit on the Homeowners Association board just so they can enforce every little petty thing in the subdivision by-laws? Get. A. Life. My God.

What is wrong with strangers who feel it’s their right to judge your purchases, your parenting, your lack of participation in the PTA, etc? Butt out! Worry about your own glass house.

What is wrong with neighbors who would call the dog catcher on your escape artist Labrador puppy rather than just coming over and handling it face to face?

What is wrong with close talkers? Do they not know a thing about personal space?

Finally, what is wrong with people in general?

This has been a good session. See you next week. I will bill your card.

Watch Jason Carr Live, weekdays from 8 a.m. to 9:45 a.m., streaming live on Local 4+ and ClickOnDetroit.